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tired. went to help out for the heats today. a bit stupid. =.= the number of participants are actually lesser than the number of timers. ARHAHA!! so enthu eh. =.=
most of them din know that there was heats today. =.= if i am not the organizer i also won't know. largely because the announcements wasn't very clear.
LOL! so the clever MR TAN suggested that we should do a skit to Attract Attention. =.=
shall ask the master of AA. ^^
yawn. if u need a friend to tell u wad kind of guy i am. i am just speechless.
旁观者清,当事者更清！
LOL! it dun rhythm. =.= nvm~
this is the 99th post ^^
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went to mug at Buddy Hoagies today.
that place sure brings back lots of memories...
productive too..
finish binomial poisson distribution TUT.
did econs essay.
hur.
people change.
we change.
the love was there.
the trust was there.
everything was right at that time.
just that we are all tired.
mentally..
emotionally..
physically..
most importantly tired of me.
avoid me.
hang up the phone on me.
off your phone.
dun reply my smses.
do what u think is right.. do what can make u feel better.
no one stopping you.
just make yourself feel better at the expense of my feelings.
i am too pain, too busy getting you out of my mind.
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sorry dear. my bad.
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LOL! it was pitch black.... stupid!! i missed a step and tripped on my ankle.
LOL! hurts like shit and that bloody uncel still have the time to laugh at me la.
goonji.
LOL! miss that word hur? LOL!!
anyway. i am FINE! bloody. it was dam pain. but likely it din break. =.=
with my kind of weight, at the instance of that fall.
i was thinking: liao!! sure break!
ARHAHAHA!! HENG AR!!
anyway. its ok la. ^^ though it hurts at certain angles. =.=
LOL! nvm. no one cares anyway..
Find it hard to start a topic with u. Only end up being shouted and criticized to nothing by you. lol. Hurts u know? arhaha. obviously u dun.
Funny thing is that she find it so much fun talking about dance and des, wc, hx and wang lao with her most hated fren.
see the irony?
nvm if u dun.
TO DES AND GANG:
-iremoved-
tata~
i am tired. dun wan think anymore....
life is getting ironic...
full of dilemmas....
its just life?
yawn.
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change?
guess the old me will die to change just to get u back..
i prefer the me now..
the new me?
although i dunno whats the real me now.
seems like i have to reconstruct myself from scratch again..
the old me is gone with that relationship.
gone with your memory.
the old me?
i also dunno which is the old me...
i seem so differnt when i am with you...
trying my best to let u be happy..
even at the expense of my own happiness...
guess thats the pain of a giver.
who can understand? who will...
so much pain yet it still turn sour.
maybe i just a sadist.. so pain. yet i just dun wan let go.
all i asked was some time...
that really killed u hur?
its all fine until i asked for that...
shud have being smarter and not stupid-ly trust that u wun leave.
and that more of ur time is just a taboo in our relationship...
if we did juggle well....
if we did understood each other...
if love did occur...
why will it be like this?
i dunno wads a end.
i dunno wad i wan...
maybe i just wan to go back to the past..
thats why all the happy things in TV drama never happen in real life.
love. BIG word.
thats all i feel for u in the pass, now and maybe the next minute.
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i still love you..i am still a piece of lonely shit =)
当时的我向你要求多一点关心，
多一点与我共处的时间，
但是你选着了舞团，选着放弃这段感情。
当时的我们.....
was i asking too much?
i know i am now...
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wake up.
and she is gone.
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i feel so left now. ARGH! aka not rite.
today was just another shitty day. din do much. went school to sleep hur?
maths lecture was cool. the lecturer is really super!
hahaa.. sorry to her that ur model student fell asleep during her lecture yesterday. =.= i.e me.
LOL! stupid la. how am i suppose to forget!!
'HEY!! yy have a crush on U! ^^'
i practically sent this sms to 2 girls. -.- if u consider bernard is one. LOL!! shud have seen how yy reacted to these prank sms-es. that monkey was so paranoid. LOL!
what to say. stupid brain produce stupid sms that piss off people. LOL!
yawn yawn yawn.
bio test tmr. mock test. covers all the j1 topics.
number of topics LEJUN covered?
hehe. a shocking ZERO!
Don't let me go when I'm this low
Why can't we talk about it
Why can't we figure it out
I wanna know as people grow
How do they sort it all out
Work out what love is about
So tell me now yeah I've gotta know
When this feeling I've got won't let go
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thats so throw face la. WTH!!
HAHA!
hmmm.. after elmo left her it came over my house to pei me over the night. RAH!
stupid elmo. make me emo.
HAIz.. i miss those days too. what to say? i am just like that elmo. too stupid to be true.
............rewind...........sketch book....
OBK
necklace...
vivo...
jiayou cards...
bugis...
Aristal 07...
DE camp 07...
national lib...
vday 07...
Release of JAE...
O lvl release...
Yishun Sports Hall...
release of PAE...
Prelims...
Minitoon bag...
movies...
Wallet...
MehMeh...
4/7 class room...
Anderson Sec lib...
SengKang lib...
CIP...
life.... i just wan to rewind everything.
correct those mistakes and re-live the happy moments.
i want to know all the buts and yet that are stopping you.....
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stupid. i still so geng sia. went on to do my PE. 2.4 leh~
after the run i really buai tahan le. cant even straighten my back lo. RAH! its that pain.
think is ingestion leh. eat too much lately. realise i din do 1 week of PE. that is 2 lessons.
arhahaha.
that is enough to make me feel fatter, RAH!
serious. some one said something that really trigger me to think
what is 'end'?
LOL! nvm. too deep eh?
hmm.
what is 'end'?
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yawn.
my throat still hurts.
i am still filled with emptiness.
haha.. ironic? but true.
filled with emptiness
tag board coming up again soon.. look forward to it.
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tired..
i cant seem to catch up with the school work..
everything isn't going my way.
RAH!
jus woke up and the sore throat seems to have gotten worse..
RAH! xin ku.
shall do my chem and self entertain for the time being...
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LOL! sian-ed.
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arhahaha.. my wounds are healing. AND they are all so crispy. LOL!
everyone near me is tempted to PEEL IT OFF ME! LOL!!!!!
as crispy as seaweed. the colour also looks like lo. HAHA!
tata. i shall go get my energy back.
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how to show that i understand?
HAIZ!
i am tired.
very very tired.
to show that i understand u love dancing i must first show that i can accept the fact that u have to be close to the guys to dance?
what's the logic here?
爱一个不爱你的人真的很累......
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slienced for 53 days and counting.
ha!
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went with yong yuan jia jun jazzy phoebe christine and belinda. LOL! was having fun camwhoring after the concert. =.= shall post them when i got hold of those photos.
LOL! arhahaha. after which we went off for supper at clark quay. =.= is that how u spell? nvm~ bernard and aloy joined us after concert ended.
LOL!those 2 guys are the best. came out for supper and went home. LOL! so ON la.
AND i realise that there is a club called 'home'. LOL! thats so...... haha
RAH!!! BIO MOCK TEST ON WED!! all J1 topics leh. clement ong is one fat idiot but he is smart. T.T wad to say. the world is unfair to ME! T.T
joking~
"those who planted kindness gather love"
die.
lol. wondering if it is me or just me. but i just feel that guys are showing u kindness. haha. especially that one guy in your dance gang? lol. should have known this day will come when i left you that day. one day u will be moved by other guys. maybe by me.
i dunno. by me? i have super low self esteem now. HAHA! chances are slim.
always wanted to walk back that road again. remove those grass from the old days and clear out a new path for both of us. even if i have to do it alone, i just want to be there with you. tedious it may sound, but i guess its worth it? haha.
even if we had to start from scratch again.
at the end, its still your choice. LOL!
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anyway. going for AJC dance concert tmr. LOL! so cool hur. =.= yawn. shall finish my binomial distribution then go..
tired. bloody VJ have no school for tmr?! this is so fair lo. LOL! nvm. AJ shall replace NJ and be the mugger champion AGAIN!
RAH!
shall start planning the distribution aka sales aka collection aka accounting aka re-sale of the HARMOC concert tickets.... RAH!
cant bear to see our dear AH MENG suffer so much. LOL!! after all she is our GUO BAO!
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WOW! pain pain pain. shall mug till dawn. since my mum say she cant wake me up tmr as she will be too tired to. =.= okay lo..
PLUS i have BIO test tmr which i barely touched.
STILL have to hand in my reading file tmr when i hardly do any reading.
DOUBLE PLUS! i just reached home from the track and field meet TRAIL!
haiz. tired. T.T
why did i even agree to organising track and field meet~~
poor kuku down with diarrhea. take care.
LOL! i dun care which guy showed u extra kindness and care when u are feeling sick.
As long as u are okay can le.
=>
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dun worry. i will never leave you.
hahaha.. i no need worry le. cos u already did. =.=
PRAYING hard that no guys will move you.
so selfish.
but love is suppose to be?
*excuses*
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Miss the old days. how you hug me and started crying.. whining about what happen in school and how much u miss me. LOL! so drama lo. wadde. =.= blablablah. i being stupid here. shall continue with more photo viewing.
dad's car deprive me of the chance again. LOL! hmm.
DIE! econs test tmr! bio test WED! GP reading file aka 33 articles WED! or even worse.. TMR!!
screwed. but who is there? hmm. a phone with a spoilt joystick and nothing more.
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Harmoc camp finally come to an end!! MEANING i no longer have to lame around the school or AMK central anymore! my wounds have split so much that it no longer hurt when it split. =.= its that BAD!
Just realised that i wasted last night doing the stupid risk assessment. =.= that RA for the wet weather back up plan is so.......... REDUNDANT! RAH! LOL! today's weather was just superb la. GOOD news for uncle and gang but bad news for me. its means that i have to walk under the sun for the afternoon. wadde.. how could they do this to a badly injuried man like me! but still, most importantly they had fun. LOL!
Spend half the time in the camp doing the video. LOL! turn out quite nice.. LOL! 3 cheers for myself. =.=
AJHB!
wo bu yao kai xue!!! =(
During September holidays last year, both of us dun wan to go back to school for the same reason..
6 months after September holidays last year, both of us still dun wan to go back to school..
This time for a different reason.
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shadow play?
EH! even my mum is grossed out by my wound... now i even feel more lonely to treat my wound myself.. how happy can i get. enduring the pain all by myself. nvm.. its just me.. thatlonelyboy. ^^
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为了这段感情，我们渡过了不少的挫折。
但是老天总是爱戏弄我们。
到了最后，还是分开了。
我想信有你在我身边的这段日是我一生中最开心，最快乐，最幸福的。
你也应该有同感吧。
当时的我，人太笨， 不会珍惜你的爱。
当时的你，人太好，不管我多么的笨，还是站在我这一边。
多么希望这一切只是一场恶梦。
一觉睡醒后，你依然在我身边。
可是这并不时梦。
我伤了你的心。
伤口太深了。
深到让你对我死了心。
无知的我，愚昧的我，冲动的我，爱吃醋的我。
我好想将时间逆转，回到过去，弥补我的错，好好的用你的方式再爱你一次。
现在的我，
还是很笨，
分手了，你的心里也不好受。
口硬心软的你，
总是爱逞强。
亲爱的，对不起。
我应该体谅你的心情。
原来爱情那么伤
是我的错，爱情并不伤。
伤了你的人是我。
对不起
好希望能在你生病时配着你。
就像当时的你照护我一样，继续的爱护你。
我不知道如何才能愈合你心中的伤口，让你重新相信爱。
只是好想继续陪在你身边。
没有了你，我不快乐。
没有了你，我并不是真正的我。
没有了我，你过的好吗？
乐君呢？
我不知道。
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真的不在乎我了吗?
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That episode so made me realized how stupid i was to hurt u that time. It was all because of jealousy that brought us to where we are now. my jealousy.
come to think of it. at the very end, i am the one who cant live without u.the supposed 19th month.
LOL! why am i still counting.. LOL!
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LOL! alot people whom i dunno actually cared abt my legs. cool.. thanks guys. this random girl came to me and said:' LEJUN! let me draw a smiley face on ur bandage. will heal faster that!' LOL! before i could move she started drawing... hur. until now i still dunno her name. =.=
the smiley face. SEE! can still see the stain of my wound. OUCH!
REALLY bad abrasion. LOL! nvm. some one wun bother to know anyway. LOL! 60 bucks a day plus with eye candy. why not? LOL! YAWN! did challenge pole with the injuries. LOL! that sort of contribute to why the wound is still so raw until now. =.= cos it keep closing and opening again. =.= too bad lo. ARHAHAHA! back to challenge pole. i manage to touch it this time. HEHE!
How i injuried myself? HUR! trip and fall. arahahaha.. was late in the morning. =.= suppose to gather at 645am but i woke up at 635. due to my smart motorola phone. LOL! so i was late. and i ran to the toilet. en up miss a step and fell. OUCH! arhahahha.. quite cool leh.. i actually slided on the ground before i got up. that sort of worsen the injury. lol. nvm! some where is 100x more painful than these wounds. LOL! met this girl while waiting to dress my wound. =.= she dam pro la. NATIONAL shooting team? mai siao siao. try bully me la. i hire a her come snipe u. HEHE.
the ELBOW (after apply 'purple solution')
LOL! i think this is the rite knee.
LOL! then this will be the left knee.
hahaha. either way both are swollen. =.= hard time sleep last night. T.T heck la. cant even bend them now. LOL!
on the whole the camp is fun. when i got hold of the camp photos then i post. LOL! tata. i shall go rest.
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Packing bag for the camp tmr. shocking news. i dun have my shampoo and my shower.. RAH! die. T.T
This year feel so weird.. last year when i went for the 5 days camp i dying not to go. i wanted to go for some one's concert.. i promised to go de. but in the end. haiz. regret of my life. even though i secretly called her before her concert to jia you for her but i know the feeling is just different.
This year also dying not to go, but for a different reason. cos its all so wrong.. i feel so alone this year. cos these 3 days in the camp i believe no one will miss me like shit anymore. let alone worry about my safety.. haiz.. face it man. u are single. CHEY!
camp. good or bad? really can help me forget her? can i fall off that challenging pole then i can get memory loss better. faster that way. HAIZ.
GOOD LUCK PEEPS!
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what can i do to make you smile, again....
ans: to love is to let go..
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maybe somethings someone have to learn it in a somewhat hard way..
waste my brain cells on something more constructive ba.. tmr got CHEM TEST! and MATHS TEST! and i have to do my ECONS , MATHS and CHEM tut. =.= i got around 4 hours left. think i can finish all of these?! LOL! ITS IS POSSIBLE?! arhahaha.. later ba. i go chat a awhile FIRST! arhahahahaha. sian.
what to do now!! ARH! i am just bored to the bottom of a bottomless pit. T.T so are you? but still. u aren't replying me. lol. i know you. the more i ask u to reply. the more u will resist to reply me. leave it as it is ba..
i am too tired. so are you. i am the one who dun deserve you. yea. u kept saying 'i am not worth it. u have to move on.' but we both know that its the other way round..
where is the love?
where is the love for me?
where is the love for me from you?
where is the love for the kids in Africa? =.= ok. random. but true.
seriously i am being insensible here. you aren't feeling any better also. haiz. i know u are hurt too. tired, drained, wan to just scream everything out and just drop dead. i want to help. but i dunno how to help.
why tell me all the happy moments when u know u are not happy at all. okay. true. maybe cos i am still some where in your life thats why it is still so miserable. now that dao-ism u are demonstrating make sense.
i just kept inferring and inferring these days. one day i will score well in my compre. but too bad.. only got 2 questions on inference. haiz.
DEFENDER! if u happen to know my msn, PLS! talk to me. LOL! i wan to know who u are.. afterall u are the one who is speaking up for me till the very last.
p.s. uncle not say u din help to speak up for me. just that i know who u are already. LOL!
LOL! during PE today, arthur lim said : 'blahblahblahblah... can at least show some appreciation to what i do not?! blahblahblahblah...' LOL! ok. that was classic. sound like someone i used to know. LOL! that someone is not around anymore. mm.. his world is upside down now. =)
thanks to you/myself for painting my 18 years old into a black and white picture. ok. fine. with some blue and grey. -.-
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no one wants to tok to me. rather too many people wants to tok to me. so i removed the cbox. =)
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ANYWAY! thanx to defender. i dunno who that is.. i think i know. but the person who i think is defender wun do such a thing for me anymore.. but still. thanks!!
that aside. counting down 3 days to camp. and i am dying to go there now. so that i can get YOU out of my mind. i dun like being so stranger to you. wad for treating me like a stranger. with those ya/ok/why replies. but still better than no reply. come to think of it. is it even consider a reply? technically yes.
where is the love.. i loss the sense of love also. i dunno how to love. yea. u are rite. before u love someone, learn to love yourself. that goes to u too. i guess the tot of cutting is being super stupid. wad for cut for a girl who told u in the face that she never loved u. waste my blood? but rest assured. i din shed a blood for u yet. i doubt i will. maybe until 36 days later when i start to get cranky again. hur. not funny.
LOL! let it go man LEJUN! even uncle is chanting to me everyday. the more he chant, the more i think. the harder it is to let go. why let go when its a tree and not when its just a sprout. this is HARD! 10x harder than the bloody chem test.
HMM! time. WE need time. u have des and gang to keep me out of ur mind. i have.........nothing much to keep u out of my brain. CONCLUSION! i need to go for that bloody tough and tedious SI CAMP asap.
Today lessons are boring. the day is boring on the whole. spend half the day waiting for a sms that will never come. lol. had hamoc. goodness! 130 applicants. 60 came. onli 10 left at the end of our so called welcome-J1-mini-performance. LOL! what to say. HAMOC is the most POPULAR cca in AJC!
yawn. test test test test on friday. LOL! i realise the test is no longer only testing about our knowledge, its also testing our stamina. =.= how many test we can cope in one day. HUR!
where is the love? the love for others or the love for you? CHIM!
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WHERE to buy a long sleeve shirt ar? t-shirt is the best. that TIME CONSUMING camp wan the campers to bring long sleeve t-shirt. scare we do high element get rope burn. =.= a bit too SILLY?!
WHAT is your sole purpose in life? without dance=roaming organisms existing for the sole purpose of consuming information? my sole purpose is to live and make my loved ones happy.
=.= that is until i find my new purpose in life. i dunno wad i wan to do with my life also. sit in a office everyday and type proposals/counting money for the company/saving lives/inventing new medications/find a way to cure AIDS/educating our future generations? i cant imagine how my future life will be. what to say.
life is complicated.
life is messy.
life is stressful.
life is tiring.
life is confusing.
life is fun.
life is emo.
life is happiness.
life is stoning.
life is unpredictable.
life is not forgiving.
if your life is none of the above, GET A LIFE?!
if you have one or more of the life above, dun worry. u are alive and living(not existing). ^^
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why me?
learn from ocbc.. ask why not.
WHY not me?WHY!! T.T why leave me when i need u the most... why is he so nice to you.... why he have to the take away the most important thing in my life... why................ why are u like to stick with him so much.... why isnt there a 2nd chance... why tell me u dun love me onli after so long... i cant hold it anymore.. i hold it for the whole day... i hold it for 36 days.... i cant hold it anymore... why after 17 months u tell me u just want be friends with me... what are all those promise for?? show? why do this to me.... i try cut myself. i dun feel the pain.. the knife is not even sharp la. wad de hell... my heart is just so pain... its so ripped.. all u know is sorry.. and u know it dun help... why leave me.... why me.. why am i not important to u... why DESMOND WAH CHUN AND HAN XIE always comes first in ur heart.... WHY?! why choose them over me.... why...
why u even agree on going with him when u know he have a GF? so what if he is the one who asked? does it mean he asked his gf will be ok with it?! if u dun wan to go and know its wrong to go u will reject him in the first place. it so obvious that u wan to go... why... u said if he dun go with u... u also dun feel like doing it le... when i offer to help u u say wad... got special training... hello. did he have the training? did u have it? tell me why...... i really wan know..
u din try to patch up with.. but u are so happy when u mange to patch up that relationship with him... wad is all this about...
why u leave me... why... i feel like dying more than anyone now.... ARGH!
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why not me?
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MARCH HOLS ---- life of a DUMPass
= SI training camp 8th-10th March.
= SI training session 11th-16th March.
= Hamoc 2 day camp 13th & 14th March.
= left-alone-to-emo days DUN HAVE!!!
p.s. its good new. >.<
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nobody wants to talk to me. T.T sadsad.
why do i feel a wall between us. i am trying to jump over it. but u are trying to build it higher.. just wan be there to make u happy. so STAY HAPPY! no one is a perfect gf/bf? thank you! =.= dunno for wad. but i just feel like saying that. ^^
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and u are a sucky ex. T.T LOL! jkjk. take care and dun get so worried abt dance la. u put in ur best can le. i dunno how well u dance cos i dun see it. but dun worry. u are improving. give urself time. but u still choose to go la. have faith in wad u chose? aka dance and not ME! LOL! wadever. =.=
About You Now- SugaBabes
It was so easy that night
Should’ve been strong
Yeah I lied
Nobody gets me like you
Couldn't keep hold of you then
How could I know what you meant
There was nothing to compare too
I know everything changes
All the cities and faces
But I know how I feel
About you
There's a mountain between us
But there's one thing i'm sure of
That I know how I feel
About you
Can we bring yesterday
Back around
Cause I know how I feel
About you now
I was dumb I was wrong
I let you down
But I know how I feel
About you now
All that it takes
One more chance
Don’t let our last kiss
Be our last
Give me tonight and I’ll show you
I know everything changes
I don't care where it takes us
Cause I know how I feel
About you
[ About You Now lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Can we bring yesterday
Back around
Cause I know how I feel
About you now
I was dumb I was wrong
I let you down
But I know how I feel
About you now
Not a day passed me by
Not a day passed me by
That I don’t think about you
And there’s no moving on
Cause I know you’re the one
And I can’t be without you
Can we bring yesterday
Back around
Cause I know how I feel
About you now
I was dumb I was wrong
I let you down
But I know how I feel
About you now
Can we bring yesterday
Back around
Cause I know how I feel
About you now
I was dumb I was wrong
I let you down
But I know how I feel
About you now
But I know how I feel
About you now
Yet I know how I feel
About you now
i'm running from reality
and into my own world
