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I've looked for love in stranger places
but never found someone like you
someone whose smile
makes me feel i've been holding back
and now there's nothing I can't do
cause this is real, and this is good
it warms the inside just like it should
but most of all
most of all, it's built to last
it's built to last
all of our friends
saw from the start
so why didn't we believe it too?
now look, where we are
you're in my heart now
and there's no escaping it for you
cause this is real, and this is good
it warms the inside just like it should
but most of all
most of all, it's built to last
walking on the hills at night
with those fireworks and candlelight
you and i were made to get love right
cause this is real, and this is good
it warms the inside just like it should
but most of all
most of all, it's built to last
cause you are the sun in my universe
consider the best when we felt the worst
and most of all, most of all
most of all, most of all,
most of all. most of all
it's built to last
he still miss her... he din msg her today.. at least during school hour he din..
PE was killing him.. but the obstacles course was fun.. besides that he get to see gals running. =.= stupid.. ONLY benefit of thursday PE is that he get to see eye candy.. the rest of the day was in a rush... chiong gp lecture 90 mins.. tehn chiong bio lecture 60 min.. then chiong to do AQ for another 60 min... then he have to chiong to chem lecture.. so rush.. but he seems not tired at all.. abnormal as he seems. LOL... so chiong... kept him busy all day... but he is still think of her.. weird..
tmr is friday.. he got CNY concert rehearsal.. its going to end at 8 again.. sian sian sian.. good news too.. tmr is FIRST feb.. dunno is good or bad.. HMMMMM.....
he seems cheerful le hor? he hope he really is.. he had a bad stomache on his way back home. after yy left he was all alone... endure the pain and drag his feet home.. its was dam pain... he was all emo again... until juz now... a few minutes ago her sms came.. he felt happy. dunno y. juz happy to see her sms.. HMMMM.. guess she shud go socialise also.. but he no mood leh.. she seldom go dance dinner after thursday practise de.. arhahaha.. but she went today... she say she shall not be anti social.. =.= stupid girl nearly got lock in school still so happy.. not bad la. at least she is happy..
thats y he fear to call her or sms her... later she in good mood.. then the moment she hear his voice she become upset again... hurt him too..
but it really cheers him up when he hears her voice...
IRONY!!!
today we learnt wads irony.. how funny..
juz realised the next 2 weeks no CDAC... sian..
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they both scarifized a lot... she was reluctant... she have too many things to commit.. she know that he was emo and she still can tell him that she is too tired and wan to go home to sleep... wad level of commitment? judge that urself.. he saw this interesting book today... its about love.. the cover read..
"Never let teenager get hold of love.. they are too emotionally unstable"
its really true... too true..
he called her... he told her how he hurt was when he know his effort to keep the feeling going has no return.... he told her how he hurt was.... she told him that she is happy.. truely happy.. much happier than she was with him.. he asked if she is juz hiding her feelings for him away... she replied dun force me to hurt u again.. u are so sadist.. come back for more hurting onli.. the answer is clear enough... its a no..
she really dun like him le...
yea. she did cry when she heard how much effort he put in.. thatboy was not sure wad she was crying over also.. but one thing he knows.. it cant be because she still like him... thatboy stopped crying.. he din cry at all.. he was left alone again today... he felt really lonely and so hurt deep inside.. memories comes streaming in.... but he din cry.. maybe he is over it or maybe he is too lost to even realize he is hurt... only he knows.. he juz have to keep it to himself like wad she did..
he came up with a silly idea that maybe she is hurt also when she is alone with no frens.. its not true... technology is catching up.. she have MSN... a technology so powerful that it break them apart.. shutter them into pieces... while he is desperately finding those pieces back.. she was there... staring.. hurted for hurting him.. but no intention of helping at all... he can tell others that he dun love her le.. but he knows he does...
seriously i see no point moving on like this also.. it hurts deeper day by day.. but one day it will juz go so deep inside that i cant even feel it.....
PS: he called her again after the post... she is ok.... ^^
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一天过一天 明天再见
这是你每次说的 一直都没有改变
你的无奈我知道你的心已不再
放开 这是最好的决定
你的爱 已不在 我为什么还在这发呆
我为什么还爱你 为什么还想着你
不是我不放弃 是什么原因
你狠心把我丢在这里
我为什么还爱你 为什么还想着你
不是我不放弃 是什么原因
你狠心丢我在 这里
一天过一天 明天再见
这是你每次说的 一直都没有改变
你的无奈 我知道你的心已不再
放开 这是最好的决定
你的爱 已不在 我为什么还在这发呆
我为什么还爱你 为什么还想着你
不是我不放弃 是什么原因
你狠心把我丢在这里
我为什么还爱你 为什么还想着你
不是我不放弃 是什么原因
你狠心丢我在 这里
Few months back....
thatgirl: send me for wad? u dun love me le ar?!
thatboy: dun be stupid la. i love u. its just a nice song... kuku.
thatgirl: oh... chey.
Now....
... he listen to that song after pe... it hurt him.. he got tear running in circles.. he cant stand in anymore.. it had being the whole day.. so many things happen.. so much time passed... he cant hold back anymore.. he found a bench and ly down... letting his feeling out...
so many things happened.. in that short 2 weeks.. he tot it was so fast.. he went for lesson as normal.. juz that he lost his heart.. it was taken away and nvr given back to him.. he wondered y din he dump her instead when he lost the feeling last year.. he hang on.. he din wan see her cry.. he managed to fall for her... again. how he wish it was March 07.... he could have juz drop her and move on... then its not hurt for him but it will hurt her so much.. that aside.. he tried to develop feelings for her.. and he did.. all the surprise appearance of "Guest of Honour" did cheer her up alot.. so much so that he enjoy doing it.. he wan to to see her smile and giggle.. he love that smile.. he miss it too...
during one of his breaks he felt alone.. guys were all eating.. while he lost his appetite.. he went to find ppl to tok to.. at least keep him occupied.. then the worse thing happen.. we shall name the culprit as the big E....
thatboy: maybe i shud get my eye candy's number ar... that i will feel better ba....
E: u sure or not? ppl got BOYfriend le leh.......
thatboy: ya hor... aiya then forget it....
the worse part came...
E: and somemore u have GIRLFRIEND already......
there was few seconds of silence.. he juz smile and nodded at her ignorance but that word was striking... like lightning piercing through his heart.. its over.... the next thing he saw was his best fren and her hockey girlfren.. so sweet and feeding each other... then YR came and said..
y dun u say this to him.... HEY even i break le u have break ar...?!
hurhur.. how sensitive ppl ar.. he had a good laugh at it.. but deep in he know he was just laughing at himself... LOL.. how smart.. how silly... how stupid...
then he had mass civic.. that big monkey said this " we shud be happy that we failed young.. we are more thick skin to face it....." its so true.. i am so thick skin to even laugh at myself... how stupid...
enough of the lying and think he opened his eyes.. all he saw was the blue sky... he tot to himself... whats the point... the song is so right... he can cry his lungs out and cry his heart out... who is there to care... thatgirl is gone for good... juz have to face it.... he really hopes those tears are the last few drops.... but its hard to say.. maybe its just a cover up of how he really feel deep inside...
he really wants her back... badly... he feel cold alone...
good new though.. he found something to keep him occupied.. sleep.
LOL but now he cant... he have to bear the pain and do his stupid GP summary and MATHS vectors...
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alone.
so alone that it kills me.. i really dun blame thatgirl.. she is not a self centered freak.. a bitch... she is not. she is my princess.. she is my everything.. the worst mistake i make in mylife was to let her go... was to call her a bitch... i dun mean it. but i did say it... i dunno why.. i was so stupified by anger... i actually told her all these.. i know she is hurt. so hurt that her heart stop loving me.. so hurt that even stem cells cant heal... i really regret it.. i really wan to support her and let her ly on my shoulder again...
i miss those days... less than 10 hour a month.. i know its little.. but u are contented with it.. i shud be.. i din... i wanted more.. it was my fault.. i shud have trust thatgirl... i keep wanting reassurance.. again and again.. it juz shows how inconfident i am... i need u.. u make me who i am now.. the bubbly boy is really gone with u... all that is left is a boy who acts happy whole day... bleed so profusely inside... all cause by his own doing...
that girl say that she is able to forget all about thatboy by dancing.. mugging... thatboy boy try to sweat it all out too.. it nvr worked...it nvr did.. he is beaten tired... ran 5 km on that running mill... 10 kg dumb bells cant leave her away from his mind for even a sec... thatboy fall too deep... now he cant climb out..
thatboy dun wan to lie to himself again... its all along his fault.. he cant forget her.. its juz hard..... thatboy wan to forget.. but he cant.. really cant... he dunno how thatgirl did it.. but he is hurt to know that she did.. its painful for him to know thatgirl is surviving well without him... its painful for him to know that he is not much of a importance to her anyway.. if the most important person in his life dun even see him as important.. what is him? he dunno... he dun wan to think.. he choose to avoid.. no matter how long he run.. how long he hide.. he juz wan to get hold of a eraser so strong that it can clean away all those memories for him.. he tried to lie to himself that thatgirl din forget... thatgirl is hurt also.. he dunno how to help.. he cant even help himself...
he wan to see her sms... he dare not sms her..
he wan to see her face again.. he dare not call her..
he miss her alot.. wondering a silly question..
do u miss me??
pain..
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i'm running from reality
and into my own world
